3 Things

So I mention I'll be posting more in 2011, and it's already February, and I know the two people reading this blog are probably throwing up their hands and going "huh?".

The thought of posting has crossed my mind every single day. What I have to say was holding me back. I'm trying not to let it anymore.

So, to not air my full drama to the Internet, I will try to condense this as much as I can:

1) For those of you that love the kitties, I have to sadly report that Izumi passed on Christmas Day 2010. She was suddenly sick and not improving. Further testing showed she had Leukemia (not Feline though) and the prognosis was very poor even with chemo. I didn't want her to suffer anymore and made the choice to help her be at peace. She was a sweet cat, and I miss her. Unfortunately, other life changes really prevented me from being able to mourn her loss or give you an update.

2) I have been in counseling for the past 2 years. Most of you already knew that. What you didn't know is that while I started going for other reasons, it ultimately became focused on childhood abuse. That has impacted every choice I've made in life. Because of it, I've always felt emotionally fragile and not good enough for anyone. I spent 2 years having to face it, and now I am a stronger person for it. My family knows about it now, so I'm OK with sharing it here. Anyone who has been through this, know that it does impact your life even if you live in denial that it does. Please find some counseling or other type of support...it's scary and it's hard, but you are worth more than you think you are and you can do it.

3) I am currently going through (another) divorce. All I'm going to say is this is not what I wanted, but was his choice. Through therapy, I grew up from that scared little girl and now am able to stand on my own two feet. I'm not a "fragile flower" anymore. Sadly, he has not grown up and has decided he wants something different in life. After going through a month of this, I've realized I deserve better than this and I agree it is time for him to go. It's sad, it hurts, and it's hard, but I know now it's necessary for me. I have hope and I know I will heal. And that's all I really have to say about it.

There is a lot more to both points, but for the sake of people involved and who may be reading this blog, I will refrain from providing any "dirty details." One thing I've learned is that it's OK to talk about stuff, but you've got to have some tact when you do it.

But I've posted both of these because I feel like I need to, that's it's just another step in the process of healing. I also know that there are people struggling with issue #2 and terrified to say anything because of the guilt & shame involved in having that happen to you (actually, that could apply to #3 as well). I want you to know you are not alone, and that you CAN start to heal from it.

I would like to talk more about both points, but I'm not quite sure how I plan to do that yet. Password-protected entries, perhaps, or another blog entirely. Rest assured, however, that the kittehs and this site won't go anywhere.

And hopefully, after letting this out, I can really start the ball rolling with posts, cat-related and otherwise.

Rest in peace, sweet Izumi

2011

While I can say 2010 has royally sucked, I'm going to look forward to 2011. Life will get better and the only person who can make me happy is me. Time to break through all of the stress and worry and start enjoying life.

Little cryptic, I know, but it's the best I can do.

You should be seeing more of me in 2011.

Carnival of the Cats #353

While it is usually a little cold outside during the holidays, it doesn't get really cold around her until January. But these past few weeks, it's been SUPER cold! We even had some snow! So now we're trying to keep warm, even if it means snuggling in odd places.

Maggie: Um, move along! Nothing to see here! No, Quixote and I AREN'T snuggling...um, this window just has a good view. That's it!

Oreo: I don't care how cold it gets, you won't see me snuggling with any other kitties!

Tiger: For once, we agree on something, Oreo. For that, I won't gripe at you tonight when you get close to me...but ONLY tonight.

Bagheera: Momma just doesn't understand us...I may be the bully of the house and Felix may be the most laid-back, but we're still cool with each other!

Sidonia: Clean or dirty...this laundry is still a good spot to stay warm!

Enough complaining about the cold, kitties. Let's roll on with the carnival!

We kick off the carnival with quirky Belle over at Watermark, where her owner tells us how Belle chose her family instead of the other way around. It really is always that way, you humans just don't realize it.

For COTC and Weekend Cat Blogging, CatSynth presents the lovely cats from the annual SF SPCA Holiday Windows event at Macy's. What a great way to showcase adoptable kitties!

Nikita Cat at Meowsings of an Opinionated Pussycat does excellent detective work! He reports on the influx of scammers and advertisers into the world of Critter Blogging, and provides us some examples that they have seen.

Uh oh! Nikita and Elvira have spotted some star-crossed lovers near their apartment. Nikita tries to explain to a confused Elvira what's going on. While it's always great to see fellow felines in love, we also hope homeless kittens won't be a result of such love.

Elvira is a rare teenager -- she wants to spend time with her Daddy! She helps him with his work and goes after a paper ball that's giving him trouble. How do you ever get any work done without us kitties?

Samantha, Clementine, and Maverick at Life from a Cat's Perspective spend their Sunday showing all of us their favorite things. In our opinion, all are excellent choices!

Even though she's not a kitten anymore, Maddie still has holiday spirit and keeps and eye out for Sandy Paws over at StrangeRanger. We hope he brings you lots of goodies!

Maggie: Momma, you need to turn the heat up. This is just getting ridiculous!

Sigh. April can't come soon enough. From all of the Meowers of Death, happy (warm) holidays to everyone!

Next week's carnival is at Meowsings of an Opinionated Pussycat.

How a Visit to the Post Office Can Change Your Perspective on Life

Today I swung by the post office during my lunch break. An older gentleman with what looked like an oxygen tank was working his way down the sidewalk.

Normally I would patiently wait behind him, but today I tried to scoot around him & ended up startling the poor man. I apologized and started to head for my car. He said, "Miss?" and I turned around. He said "Do you know what women and days have in common?" then responded "Just like days, some women are more beautiful than others." I couldn't help but smile at that. He said, "It makes every day worth it when you can make someone smile." I smiled again and agreed with him, telling him to have a nice day as I headed for my car.

As I headed to my appointment that I was running late for, I couldn't help but think about that man. About how I have lately been having such a hard time with life and I've been bouncing from one thing to another just trying to survive another day. I've been spending all my time worrying about school, work, money, sleep, and family. And here is this man who is connected to an oxygen tank and probably struggles just to get out to visit the post office because of his health issues. Yet for all his troubles, he goes out of his way to make someone smile.

While my struggles are many not insignificant, this one moment really put things in perspective for me. And I'm sure he'd be happy to know I was sharing this with the Internet.

Carnival of the Cats #349

We begin with the sad news of a loss within our ranks. Pepper suddenly passed on October 29th.

Daddy adopted Pepper a few years before he met Momma. Pepper had been rescued from a home due to neglect, but Daddy helped nurse her back to health. Her and Daddy stuck together through some hard times until they met Momma. She officially became an attack cat in April of 2006.

Pepper was a quiet sweet cat that (usually) didn't get along with the other cats. She was very skittish and would usually come up for pettings and snuggles late at night when it was quiet. She loved to put her paw on Momma's face when snuggling, and was happiest when she was kneading on Momma or Daddy. She'd had a number of health problems develop, including the heart murmur, hypothyroidism, back pain, and a potassium deficiency. She was probably about 8 or 9 years old when she passed due to her heart murmur.

While we miss her greatly, we are thankful she went quickly and peacefully and is finally pain-free. Momma is happy she got to see her and pet her one last time that day before she went to the Bridge. We know we will see her again.

We'd like to dedicate this carnival to her memory:

One of the cat owner rules is that everything must be covered in cat hair. Hakuna from Lost in the Cheese Aisle makes sure her family doesn't break the rules by relaxing (and shedding) onto a sunroom chair.

Over at My Cats and Funny Stories, Arthur grumbles about the rainy weather and the indignity of being dried off by his human.

Cokie the Cat is hosting a purrfect giveaway featuring a gorgeous ornament and refrigerator magnet starring Cokie himself!

Dirty-boy Meowza sneaks in some dirt rolling and dreams of turkey at both Mind of Mog and his own site, iMeowza, just in time for Caturday.

Uh oh! Over at Meowsings of an Opinionated Pussycat, Elvira seems to be so concerned about her figure that she's comparing herself to a Thanksgiving turkey!

Also at Meowsings of an Opinionated Pussycat, Nikita and Elvira are busy helping their Daddy learn how to make fliers...featuring themselves, of course!

Nikita also shows off his bravery by fending off a foot intruder and protecting his family. In our opinion, you definitely deserve a medal!

At Strangeranger, Maddie enjoys some puddles of sunshine and her human gets an opportunity to capture a photo of her lovely green eyes. How beautiful!

Thanks everyone for giving us the opportunity to host and to share. The next carnival will be at Meowsings of an Opinionated Pussycat.

Carnival of the Cats #344

Hi everyone! Momma is not feeling well this week, and to be honest, I'm not either. I've been down with a case of the "sneezles," and it looks like I'm off to the vet tomorrow.

She knows she should be doing a better job of blogging about us, but she says she's just been so busy with full-time graduate school and her full-time job that she hasn't been able to. We have let her know this is unacceptable long-term.

So this will be a very short and sweet carnival, not only from us, but also due to only a few submissions. The kitties and humans must be busy enjoying the great fall weather.

If the submissions page is acting up, please add your post in the comments and we'll add it asap.

Mr. Mews is nursing some hurt feelings over at Mr. Mews Daily Post. It's a shame...other humans and kitties can't always appreciate observations from such a distinguished cat.

Nikita takes a trip to the vet for some tests and blogs about his adventure over at Meowsings of an Opinionated Pussycat. Sorry to hear about "Ol' Arthur" and we hope that the new meds will help!

At StrangeRanger, Maddie is showing awesome signs of recovery from knee surgery by zipping around her house and exploring places she hasn't been in a while. We're happy to hear you are feeling so much better!

That's it for this week! Thanks for letting us host! Next week's carnival is at Kashim & Othello and Salome's.

Carnival of the Cats #340

Hi everyone! My name is Reepicheep. I've been around here for a few weeks now, but there's been so much going on, the lady who owns this computer hasn't had time to mention it!

The crazy lady who lives here doesn't really know where I came from. But one morning I was out playing in the grass and I heard some dogs barking. I looked up and saw a big tall human coming out of a door. I bounded up to him to say hello. He held me and I started purring. They took me somewhere where they poked me with needles and cleaned out my ears. I didn't like that very much at all, but I was happy to meet new people. The vet said I looked a little rough around the edges. My bottom lip was hurt at some point, but I don't remember. It healed, but it didn't heal in the right place, so the vet said I just have a bigger smile, that's all.

So the lady said that I could stay here. I am about 10 weeks old. She's going to try to find me a home after I get a little healthier, where I don't have to compete for attention with so many other cats, but she gives me lots of love and lets me snuggle with her, so I'm happy here for now.

Anyways, the other kitties here have been pretty nice to me. Maggie will even play with me. They said I should host something called the "Carnival of the Cats" to truly be inducted into the Meowers of Death club. So here I am, and let's go ahead with the carnival!

It's a little small, but that's OK, because I'm small too!

You humans really should take the time to give us our proper adoration. At Elms in the Yard, Pinocchio assumes her post on her royal throne, ready for her throng of fans.

Houseguests are always exciting for both cats and humans, though humans are usually happier than the cats. Bernadette visits the Elisson household and Hakuna remains happily oblivious over at Lost in the Cheese Aisle.

As much as we love the sun, sometimes a quiet rainy day is just the ticket for some relaxation. Luna kicks back at CatSynth and gives her humans the chance at some lovely photos.

Nikita and Elvira are super busy over at Meowsings of an Opinionated Pussycat. First, Nikita brings us an essay encouraging and providing tips to critter bloggers on creativity and increasing their readership.

Next, Nikita helps kitty bloggers even more by providing 18 "easy" steps to becoming a feline writer. I think the decision to take fewer naps is the hardest part of being a feline writer.

Nikita also updates us on a few interesting projects he and his daddy have planned and some that were finished. It sounds like Nikita has been doing a lot of writing, and we're sure the "18 steps to Feline Writing" will come in handy for him!

Maddie of StrangeRanger is healing from a mysterious allergic reaction that caused her floofy furs to be a little patchy, but she's not letting it get her down! We're sure it'll grow back in no time.

What fun! Samantha and Clementine get into a hissy fight (I'm sure it was in good humor) and their mom animated it.

That's it for the carnival. Thanks for letting me host, it was fun!

Next week's carnival is at Meowsings of an Opinionated Pussycat.