Carnival of the Cats #362

Reepicheep: I love Sundays. Sundays are always good for napping.

Reepicheep: In fact, I think right now is a perfect time for a snooze.

Reepicheep: But sometimes, you just can't get comfortable and you've got to try a new position.

Reepicheep: This one seems pretty comfy. Why don't you enjoy the carnvial while I catch a few zzz's?

Who needs a guard dog when you have a perfectly good kitty guard? Hakuna guards the family room over at Lost in the Cheese Aisle.

Poor Rosie can't find anything (or any cat) because of the painting going on at My Cats and Funny Stories.

Cokie the Cat is asking for a #Pawcircle and #PawPrayers for his friend LaddieCat, who is not feeling so well. Be sure to check out Cokie's blog for updates!

Luna's lovely black fur and posing provides a perfect opportunity to capture her silhouette over at CatSynth for Weekend Cat Blogging and a Photo Hunt.

Big news over at Meowsings of an Opinionated Pussycat...Elvira's celebrating her 1st birthday, and the Meowers of Death are so happy to see her grow into a lovely young lady surrounded by her loving family. Congrats Elvira!

Elvira's starts off her 2nd year with a bang with "The Elvira Factor" and her feelings on the word "puss" and it's political correctness.

Also, Elvira takes on even more with some commentary on the OC Weekly Website and their coverage of the sexiest females in Orange County...and she gets some honors for it. Great job on your coverage!

Maddie shows off her lovely eyes (and patience for the camera) over at StrangeRanger. We kitties are always long-suffering due to our humans' need to take pictures.

After chastisting Mog, Meowza graces us with his precense for Caturday by having some fun outside in the sun. It's good to see you again, Meowza!

Speaking of Meowza, he posts his annual purrfurmance review at iMeowza, and it's not looking so good for Mog. Maybe next year's will be better!

Thanks for letting us host! The next carnival will be hosted at Mind of Mog.

3 Things

So I mention I'll be posting more in 2011, and it's already February, and I know the two people reading this blog are probably throwing up their hands and going "huh?".

The thought of posting has crossed my mind every single day. What I have to say was holding me back. I'm trying not to let it anymore.

So, to not air my full drama to the Internet, I will try to condense this as much as I can:

1) For those of you that love the kitties, I have to sadly report that Izumi passed on Christmas Day 2010. She was suddenly sick and not improving. Further testing showed she had Leukemia (not Feline though) and the prognosis was very poor even with chemo. I didn't want her to suffer anymore and made the choice to help her be at peace. She was a sweet cat, and I miss her. Unfortunately, other life changes really prevented me from being able to mourn her loss or give you an update.

2) I have been in counseling for the past 2 years. Most of you already knew that. What you didn't know is that while I started going for other reasons, it ultimately became focused on childhood abuse. That has impacted every choice I've made in life. Because of it, I've always felt emotionally fragile and not good enough for anyone. I spent 2 years having to face it, and now I am a stronger person for it. My family knows about it now, so I'm OK with sharing it here. Anyone who has been through this, know that it does impact your life even if you live in denial that it does. Please find some counseling or other type of support...it's scary and it's hard, but you are worth more than you think you are and you can do it.

3) I am currently going through (another) divorce. All I'm going to say is this is not what I wanted, but was his choice. Through therapy, I grew up from that scared little girl and now am able to stand on my own two feet. I'm not a "fragile flower" anymore. Sadly, he has not grown up and has decided he wants something different in life. After going through a month of this, I've realized I deserve better than this and I agree it is time for him to go. It's sad, it hurts, and it's hard, but I know now it's necessary for me. I have hope and I know I will heal. And that's all I really have to say about it.

There is a lot more to both points, but for the sake of people involved and who may be reading this blog, I will refrain from providing any "dirty details." One thing I've learned is that it's OK to talk about stuff, but you've got to have some tact when you do it.

But I've posted both of these because I feel like I need to, that's it's just another step in the process of healing. I also know that there are people struggling with issue #2 and terrified to say anything because of the guilt & shame involved in having that happen to you (actually, that could apply to #3 as well). I want you to know you are not alone, and that you CAN start to heal from it.

I would like to talk more about both points, but I'm not quite sure how I plan to do that yet. Password-protected entries, perhaps, or another blog entirely. Rest assured, however, that the kittehs and this site won't go anywhere.

And hopefully, after letting this out, I can really start the ball rolling with posts, cat-related and otherwise.

Rest in peace, sweet Izumi